My Child is Better!
by Purestrongpoem
Summary: It was just an ordinary, boring day for Roy Mustang until Maes Hughes and Fuhrer Bradley had a fight over whose child was the best. Unfortunately for Roy, he was force to judge who is the better child. How can he escape this predicament?


Purestrongpoem: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood's characters. Enjoy.

My Child is Better!

The sun was shining through the window and the birds chirped outside to indicate it was morning. A man was sitting on his chair and yawning constantly. He stared at the pile of important paperwork that his lieutenant had gave to him. Despite the fact, it was part of his job, he hated doing paperwork.

"Ugh, is it just me or this pile of documents look like they grew bigger?" he muttered to himself.

He hoped someone would barge in right now so he didn't have to fill in the documents. Just as he hoped, a person ran right in and almost fell down.

He blinked in surprise. "Hughes? What are you doing here?"

"Morning, Mustang. Guess what good news you are going to hear!" Maes said in excitement.

Roy sighed. Judging from the tone of his friend's voice, he knew that Maes would brag about his daughter again.

Maes pushed a piece of paper in front of Roy's face. "Look, look! Isn't it adorable? Elicia just drew a picture of me, Gracia and herself in preschool! It is the best drawing that you have ever seen in her class!"

Roy took the paper from his hand and looked at it. "Well, that is good to know. But is that all you have to tell me? I am busy," he said in annoyed voice.

"No, there is more. Also today, Elicia helped Gracia cooked the most delicious apple pie. You should have tasted it!"

Roy sighed as Maes continued to talk on and on about how wonderful his daughter and wife was. Roy was about to interrupt Maes so he could stop talking when another person barged in.

"Colonel, good morning to you."

Roy blinked in surprised when he saw who it was.

"Fuhrer!" he said as he saluted him. "I didn't know you were coming here. If I did..."

"It is fine." Then he turned to Maes who also saluted him. "So what is all the excitement here?"

"Uh..." Roy didn't know what to say.

"My daughter just drew an amazing picture of me, Gracia and herself in preschool! She also helped Gracia cooked the best apple pie in history! Isn't my daughter the best?" Maes shouted. "She is the best child a parent can ever have!"

King Bradley laughed. "I don't know about best daughter but I do know that Elicia is not the best child a parent could have."

Maes' mouth fell open in surprise. He didn't expect the Fuhrer to say something like that. King Bradley took something out of his pocket and almost shoved it to Maes' and Roy's faces.

"My son, Selim is the best child a parent could ask for!"

Roy nearly fell over in disbelief. Did Maes' obsession with his daughter also spread to King Bradley? Wait, why was the Fuhrer here in the first place?

"Really? And why is that?" Maes challenged.

"Well..today in school, Selim wrote the best assignment about his family and about me."

"So my daughter can write the best assignment too...in the future. She is too young now! Well, is your son in the children's choir? You should have heard my little angel sing. Her voice is like an angel's voice."

King Bradley's hand was shaking with fury. How dare this human keep on challenging him and Pride? Why can't he just accept Pride was better? He wasn't going to back down.

Roy saw his opportunity and asked, " Fuhrer, why are..."

"Is that so? Well, my son is at the top of his class every year."

Roy sighed. He was interrupted by the Fuhrer himself before he could even finish asking why was he here.

"So is Elicia. She is at the top of her class too. And Elicia also won a...a spelling bee competition!"

Roy blinked in confusion. First of all, Elicia was only in preschool. Did it matter if she was at the top of that class? In fact, do they even tested or marked anything? Second of all, how on earth did Elicia was be able to win a spelling bee contest? Did they even let three years old children compete? Did she even know how to spell?

The Fuhrer and Maes kept going and complimenting their own child hoping to prove that their child was the better one. Roy didn't know whether to be amused or annoyed by this. However, as the argument went on, the compliments started to get more and more ridiculous. In fact, they were so ridiculous that Roy knew for sure it wasn't true.

"My son defeated a group of thieves with guns all by himself! In fact, he protect a group of students who were about to get robbed!"

Yep, that was definitely not true. There was no way, Selim would have defeated a group of thieves. It was a high probability that it never happened or his bodyguards defeated them.

"So? We were on vacation in Briggs. Elicia was outside playing and a bear appeared! She defeated a bear in just a few minutes!"

Roy knew for a fact that Maes never took a vacation with his family to Briggs and it would be impossible for Elicia to defeat a bear that is even more huge than a grown man.

He knew that the argument has gone too far and had to break it up.

"Alright, it doesn't matter whose child is better! Aren't you two here for an actual important purpose?" Roy spoke up.

The two turned and glared at him. Roy took a step back and gulped. Maybe he shouldn't try to break it up.

Then Maes stepped forward. "Roy, who do you think is better, my sweet little angel, Elicia or Selim?"

"You heard our arguments and you met both of our children before. Put aside any emotional attachments you have with Maes and tell us whose child is better?"

"And don't give us an answer like both are great because that doesn't answer the question at all."

"Uh..."

Roy didn't know what to say. If he said Elicia was better, King Bradley would be mad. He was the Fuhrer and he didn't want to anger him. He remembered one time, one of the soldiers decided to play a prank on him, he came back the next day so terrified that he couldn't speak of the horrors. He also knew that King Bradley was hot tempered just like the Fullmetal but he wasn't the type to show it. He looked to Maes. However, if he said Selim was better, it would break Maes' heart. Elicia and Gracia was everything to his friend. He couldn't bear to see that and plus what if Maes refused to support his goal to become Fuhrer after that. That would not be good.

"...Uh..."

What to do, what to do? He looked around, hoping to find a distraction so he can leave. The two men leaned in closer, waiting impatiently for Roy's answer. Roy leaned more back as his heart thumped very loudly. He could feel his sweat moving down his face. He kept looking at the door hoping that anyone even the Fullmetal to barge in. Just as the heavens heard his prayers, a door slammed open and a young woman walked in with a huge stack of papers in front of her. Roy sighed in relief as the two men turned around to see what happened.

She walked in and placed the stack of papers on Roy's desk. For the first time, Roy shouted in joy in his head after seeing a huge stack of papers.

"Colonel, these are more..."

Before Riza can finish her sentence, Roy kneeled down and grabbed Riza's hands. His eyes were watering with joy as he looked up at his saviour.

"Thank you so much!"

Everyone looked at him strangely and it took Roy a few minutes to realize what he was doing. He quickly stood up and cleared his throat.

"I meant thank you for giving me the documents. I will finish them as soon as possible which means I have a lot of work to do and must start now."

Roy pushed the two protesting men outside of his room and shut the door. Riza blinked in shock. She never expected to see Roy being excited about doing his work and that he also pushed the Furher out of the room.

"I meant it. Thank you, Riza for saving me back then."

"Uh...what happen?" she asked with a curious tone.

Roy sighed. "You don't want to know." He sat down and looked at his work. "Well, I have to fill out a lot of documents. Don't let anyone in this room unless it is important."

"Yes sir!" Riza said.

Then she walked out of the room. Whatever happened back then, she would never know.

Purestrongpoem: Please review.


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